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Julie & Jace's house
Topic Started: Jul 2 2014, 02:23 AM (239 Views)
Julie Varey
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Julie & Jace's home.

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Julie Varey
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When Julie got home from work that day, she could already feel the migraine starting up. She didn't know if that was just because of the crazy influx of information she'd taken in that day or if she was straining too hard to remember things that she clearly didn't.

The idea that there was a massive portion of her life just missing bothered her more than she could say, and she was sorely tempted by the idea that she could potentially get all of it back. She was feeling on edge and anxious and didn't even know if she could verify any of this information. She and Zander had talked at length throughout the day, enough to know that Julie had to have known him in some capacity as Elizabeth, but there was just nothing there. He told her things that he had done with both her and Eve that she did remember but didn't remember him being there. Conversations that she remembered having with Eve that he remembered too--unless he'd been spying on them while he was with Phas?

She just didn't know what to think, and it had been hard to not come home right away and ask Jace for any clarification he might be able to give on the situation. She and Jace had certainly not interacted much while they were both in Australia, given that she'd thought Jace had been loyal to Andre at the time, but if Zander really had known her--had worked in the house--he would know. It was that thought and only that thought that got her through the rest of the day. So when six o'clock came around and she was technically off duty for the night, she cast aside the work she'd been pretending to focus on and had gotten out of there as soon as possible.

When she got home, she greeted her children somewhat distractedly, ate dinner with her family, and, knowing it was probably going to be a long conversation, waited until they'd put the kids to bed to ask Jace about it.

"Do you know who Zander Silverhawk is?" she asked him finally, sitting down on the couch, tucking her feet up underneath her. "I ran into him today--he works in the morgue. He said we knew each other. From Australia."
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Jason Varey

Jace could tell that something was up with Julie the second that she got home. Arram had made a new car picture to show her - with the specs of the car; the kid could retain knowledge like a genius - and while Jace could tell she listened to Arram, he could also tell she wasn't as enthusiastic as usual. Dinner was a primarily quiet affair, and putting the kids to bed didn't change her mood.

So Jace waited, figuring it was something at work; a case where Julie didn't exactly agree with the ethics of the department or was worried that justice wouldn't be served because of all the red tape. This didn't happen often, but Jace was always happy to help if that was something she wanted.

Jace was finishing up on washing a couple dishes once the kids were sleeping when Julie finally decided to talk to him. Or rather, he had been washing them.

Before the glass he was drying decided it would rather crumble into his hand. Why did they buy such blasted fragile glassware?

Oh right. Because he usually didn't have a problem holding them like a normal person. Jace glared down at his hand, watching the blood drip into the sink with disinterest. Zander Silverhawk. Zander. Fucking. Silverhawk. They had been doing so well the past year and some odd months not having Phas be in their lives. He had honestly thought that it was over.

And he had hoped the kid was dead.

"The morgue. How appropriate." He managed to say, his voice a lot calmer than he thought it would be.

"You should stay away from him, love. He's no one we need in our lives."
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Julie Varey
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Well, Jace's initial reaction certainly wasn't promising. And she'd liked that glass, too. Getting up, Julie just walked over to him, taking his hand in hers and holding it in front of her, palm face up, so she could see just how badly he'd managed to cut himself.

"If I'd known I was going to get that reaction, I'd have waited till you were done with the dishes," she remarked wryly, doing her best to ignore the knots her stomach was twisting itself in. Why was she getting the distinct impression she was going to get two very different answers from both men? According to Zander, they'd once been as close as siblings. According to Jace, she was better off not even hearing him out. Her first inclination was, obviously, to believe Jace, but she couldn't just ignore the fact that, upon thinking about it, she had all of these gaps in her memory she'd just never been aware of before then.

"Why? Who is he?" she pressed as she grabbed a dish towel with her free hand, ran it under the water, and dabbed at the cuts on his hand.

"I made him tell me as much as he could in the time we had," she said, not even knowing how to process all of those details yet. "Did we know each other in Australia? Were we close? Jace, I--I can't remember him. At all. Not even meeting him." And yet, Zander had insisted they were friends (an odd--and kind of stupid--con to try and pull on someone, so she figured he at least believed it). He insisted that he was friends with Eve, that he'd helped Julie escape after Eve had been shot and her baby had been stolen.

Julie liked having information. She liked knowing she was in control of what was going on around her, especially after all of the tampering with her memory from before. It was just like waking up in the Australian hospital with nothing but a name; or suddenly remembering that she had to get home to find Kevin (and what was she even doing in Australia anyways?); or having memories of Eve and Arram and Phas suddenly flooding her brain months after she'd been so convinced that her time in Australia with no memory had been so uneventful.

This was that all over again. Damn it, was this going to be her entire life? Every few years or so, was she going to get a brand new set of memories to go with the ones she already had? She couldn't keep going through that It was taxing enough the first few times. This needed to end, and it needed to end now. But first? First she needed answers.
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Jason Varey

"It made me feel better." Jace said, his voice deeper in the anger he was really trying to get ahold of. So many thoughts were racing through his mind in that moment, and it made it hard for him to be present in the conversation about how Julie knew Zander. Jace didn't want to think about how Julie knew Zander. In fact, Jace didn't want Julie to be thinking about how she knew him either. Jace kind of wanted to march down to that morgue and make it so that his name didn't have to be brought into Jace's household, ever again.

He let Julie look at his hand, but when she went to wet a dish towel he just started yanking the pieces of glass out. They were tossed in the sink, and the remaining wounds were attempted to be cleaned, a little.

Jace knew his wife. He knew this wasn't going to go away.

"He was part of Phas." Well. That wasn't going to help. They seemed to already have had a nice long chat.

Jace clenched his jaw and pulled his hand away, flexing it into a fist regardless of the blood.

"Yes. You knew him. You were…close." Disgusted, Jace started pacing. "Close as you can be for two people lying to each other and to the company they were in. Eve had Andre. You had Zander. I don't know how you met him. Julie, I don't really care. He's supposed to be dead. And for Merlin's sake, why can't the entire Phas group just go to Hell?! Disappear? Cease to exist. That would be just f-ing dandy."
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Julie Varey
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"Oh, well if it made you feel better, by all means: keep on destroying the dishes." Her reply was a little more sarcastic than she intended, but honestly, why was this eliciting such a strong reaction? It made her nervous--Jace didn't, he never would, but the idea that this guy running into her at the Ministry was that much of a problem did.

Zander had told her that he was a part of Phas during one time, so that didn't surprise her. She washed her hands as he paced, then turned to face him folding her arms over her chest and leaning back against the counter. Zander's insistence was that the three of them--herself, him, and Eve--had infiltrated Phas at the same time but for different reasons. Zander had claimed he was there for the sole purpose of spying on Phas because he worked for people who wanted to take them down as much as the Aurors did. Apparently, if he was to be believed (and Julie wasn't sure that he was), Eve had gotten the idea to go after Andre from listening to him talk about what he was supposed to do.

She raised an eyebrow at the insinuation as to how "close" she and Zander had been (and the comparison of their relationship to the one that Andre and Eve had). That just seemed...really unsettling and vaguely wrong in a way she didn't have words for. She supposed it could have just been the very idea that she'd had an entire relationship she just couldn't remember, but it didn't even feel like that.

This whole thing was just making her heard hurt worse. Jace clearly hated Zander, but Julie had a hard time believing that it was strictly because, at one time, they may have been sleeping together. Zander was supposed to be dead, according to her husband; she was supposedly dead according to Zander; he'd told her a lot of things she didn't know if she could believe; Eve, the one person who could confirm any of what Zander said was long dead... It just seemed too suspicious that Zander's story could only be confirmed by Eve because of course they'd been lying to everyone else.

But why would he take such a ridiculous risk in making up a story about them being so entwined in each other's lives and believing she'd fall for a story about her magically just not remembering anything pertaining to him specifically...unless it was true? And Jace knew of his existence, knew he was....something...to Julie, so it confirmed that he had, at least, been in her life...

Magic.

That was the key word, wasn't it? More magical tampering with her mind; with her memories. And she was getting fed up with it. And freaked out. And almost, quite literally, sick about it.

"Believe me, I'd love it if any remnants of that group ceased to exist when Andre did," she said. "According to Zander, he never was a part of the group, just conning them like Eve and I were--that we all...came up with the plans together."

She sighed. "I don't know, Jace, and that's the problem. I have no idea who this guy is--now he's telling me he was a significant part of my life to the point where, before he knew I couldn't remember him, he's been assuming I was dead because that's what Andre told him, and obviously, if I wasn't I 'would have come back for him' when he got caught sneaking me out of there. And you're telling me we had...some...kind of relationship which confirms I knew him but honestly? That's worse! Because now I know that I did apparently know him and I literally can't remember a thing about him. Nothing. He didn't even look a little familiar to me!" She could feel herself getting more worked up as she talked, but she supposed she could give herself a pass on this one because who wouldn't have a right to be angry at this memory loss cycle she seemed to be subjected to every few years?

"How many times is this going to happen to me? How many more people are going to show up out of the woodwork and tell me that oops, no, there's a lot more of my life that happened that I. Cannot. Remember. So I don't care what part of Phas he was; I need him to not disappear and tell me exactly who he is and confirm it, and I need to get my memories back because so far I've woken up in Australia with nothing but a name--not even my real name. I suddenly remembered who I was somewhere in Europe a few years later and headed home while forgetting literally everything about Eve and Phas and Australia. Then a year after that I remember that everything I thought happened in Australia didn't happen, and all of a sudden I'm grieving for my best friend and realized I just gave up trying to rescue her son--our son--because I FORGOT him. And now, of course--of course--there's yet another development where I realize I've forgotten what has the potential to be some pretty significant information." She paused, finally, realizing she'd gotten worked up to the point where she didn't even know if she'd even said all of that in English.

"I'm ending this." If there was a way she could get her memory back, she was going to do it.
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Jason Varey

Jace raised his eyebrow as Julie told him to keep breaking dishes, calming down enough to take a deep breath and look at her - really look at her. Julie hadn't come to him to tell him that she met someone she couldn't remember from her past in casual conversation. He had noticed all evening that something was really eating at her, and at this moment, that had not changed. Him having his irrationally angry response to a name he hadn't heard in years was not something that she needed to be worrying about at that moment. In fact, it was selfish of him to have such a strong reaction without seeing if she was okay first.

Still, even the idea of Silverhawk looking at her made him want to go pummel something.

"No, it was obvious he was not fully part of the group in that way. In another way though, where I was 'part of the group' and still not involved in the actual procedures Andre was performing on children, Zander Silverhawk was the one who dealt with the dead babies. His main boss might not have been Andre, Julie, but he was still instrumental in the main operation."

It made Jace clench his fists again when Julie mentioned that Silverhawk told her that he was a significant part of her life.

"Maybe then, and maybe under false circumstances. Not now though. Not now." But Julie just kept going, getting more and more upset to the point where, though Jace was following her rant, it was taking him longer to understand her and process what she was telling him. He could understand being upset and confused that parts of her past were missing. He knew that she had a difficult time coming back from being Elizabeth and finding out her fiancee was with someone else. He knew she had felt incredibly guilty about Arram, and that she went through the stages of grief over Eve like it had happened all over again. In fact, every single thing that had come back to her had made her so incredibly upset that Jace wasn't sure that it was a good idea for her to find out more.

So, her last statement worried him.

"I understand that it's hard to miss pieces of your life, things that may have helped develop you into who you are today. And I know it's hard to realize the relationships you had forgotten and the pain that had been taken away. Some things are better left unknown though, Julie. You're happy now, aren't you? You have a home, a career, all of our beautiful children - including Arram -, me…do you really want to remember more of a time that was just acting and unhappiness? And how exactly are you going to end this? We've learned well enough memory comes back when it wants to."
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Julie Varey
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Julie remembered the warehouse where they'd found Tiger Baptiste's baby all too well, remembered wondering what horrible things could have happened to Arram there, and the idea that Zander Silverhawk could have had any part in that aspect of Phas--it made her skeptical to trust anything he had to say. What kind of person could live with themselves after participating in those kinds of atrocities, to "handling" the dead babies, the ones who weren't lucky enough to survive their captivity?

"He was...part of that, then," she said, more as an attempt to process it herself. And he really thought that after she found that out--and he must have known she would find it out--that she would trust anything he had to say?

Still, he was the one who said he could help her, and part of her still believed that maybe he could. Perhaps it was desperation on her part, but she had to know.

"Of course I'm happy now," she said, "but I can't just leave it alone and hope that one day I remember everything. I can't...keep going like this and wonder when the next person's going to show up to completely change things. Or wake up one morning with a brand new set of memories. Or no memory. Who knows: so far two out of three times, getting a new set wipes everything else. I mean, this isn't normal, Jace. I don't care how horrible it was. It's my life, and I want to know what's happened in it--to remember what's happened. And there...there might be a way."

She could guess exactly how well this was going to go over (which was not well at all). "There might be someone in the Obliviator's office who can help me--he can make a potion to get my missing memories back."
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Jason Varey

"Yes. He was a part of that. Andre knew that I was there under duress and while he thought it was a weakness to exploit, he let me refuse to be a part of that. If Silverhawk was there for the same kind of blackmail-caused reasoning, he should have too." But of course Julie wasn't satisfied. He could understand being upset that she was missing parts of her past. He could understand that it was stressful to walk into a situation where someone knew you, had a history with you, and you didn't even recognize him. He really did understand that. However, he also was aware that this whole memory thing seemed to constantly be a give or take. She couldn't be Julie and Elisabeth. To gain one, she lost the other. When she regained the first, she lost the second.

He would be damned if he was about to be forgotten.

"The Obliviator's office. A friend of Zander Silverhawk's, I presume? And you suddenly trust him and his contacts so much that you would be willing to lose all this to remember your life with him?" Jace threw his arms out to gesture at their home that they had built, his voice oddly calm even if his words were less than kind.

"There's a reason that there's an entire ward in Mungo's just for magic pertaining to memory."

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Julie Varey
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"It wasn't blackmail," she replied. At least, he said it wasn't blackmail. "He told me he conned his way in there. Like I did. Only for different reasons and with a different role. I'm not trying to excuse any of that, but Andre didn't know he didn't want to be there." Sometimes when Julie thought about all the ways Andre was completely oblivious as to everything going on around him, she wondered how he'd built such a "successful" operation at all.

"Yes, a friend of his. And no, I don't trust him," she replied, wanting to make that abundantly clear. Because how the hell was she supposed to trust some stranger based on completely unverifiable statements that were only unverifiable because of the very problem at hand?

The implication that she was willing to potentially trade her life with Jace and their children for Zander pissed her off. "And this has nothing to do with being willing to trade off my entire life just so I can remember him. Honestly, how can you even accuse me of that?" she asked, taking a step towards him. His tone was calm, but that was clearly not an indicator of his mood. "I know messing with memories comes with a risk--believe me, I know--but did you think I was just going to walk down a few flights at work and take a potion some random Obliviator gives me without doing my research first?"

She shook her head. "I know I can be impulsive sometimes, but I'd like to think you remembered that I have a brain in my head. Jace, I love you. I love our children, and I love our life together. But maybe doing this properly instead of just waiting for it to happen is the key to not losing everything." She really couldn't go through that again.
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Jason Varey

Jace gave Julie a look that clearly stated 'well, then, there you go'. Who would con their way into an operation to 'shut it down', as Silverhawk apparently told Julie, only to be an instrumental part of it not being found out? Jace could barely stand to walk in the hallways of the nurseries, let alone see the labs or the morgue. Jace was also aware that Andre was an idiot and almost every single experiment failed, whether right away or in the long term. That was a lot of bodies. Jace was no stranger to taking care of bodies, but…baby corpses? Constantly? That was just so messed up and anyone who could handle that had to have something wrong with them.

It was hardly gratifying to hear Julie stress that she didn't trust Silverhawk, since she didn't elaborate on the fact that it was a friend of his in the Obliviator department. So many horrible scenarios were flying through Jace's head, the most prominent of which being that this friend could easily wipe her memories of everyone but Zander and then he would have to fight all over again to get her back to him, likely with even more headaches for her. Remembering wasn't easy.

"I'm not accusing you of anything. I am asking you a question." Jace responded, crossing his arms to look down at her. "You've already been through struggling to get your memories back from two different lives. We've already struggled through regaining your sense of self after a mentally- decapitating potion. You're well aware that there's no magic potion you can swallow to bring it all back, and if there is something to help, some experimental potion, it always comes with a price. I'm asking you how much you are willing to pay."

And after that, how much she wanted him to pay; their children to pay. Sure, they could research it all they wanted. Spells done to the mind were damaging in many ways; first, what they took out or covered, and secondly, in their removal. Even if Jace could believe that Zander had the best of intentions, Jace couldn't trust that this wouldn't leave his wife brain-dead or lost to him. And downing a potion with merlin-knew what in it might damage their slim chances of having more children, though that was hardly a focus at the moment.

"You do have a brain in your head. I'd like to keep it that way…but, honestly Julie, I know you're just going to do what you want anyway. Just know that when something goes wrong and our children have to spend the next merlin-knows how long dealing with the repercussions? I will tear Zander Silverhawk limb from limb, regardless of your doubtfully remembered history with him, and his extremely helpful friend will follow." Jace said evenly, face blanked out as it always did when the family sent him out to take care of little problems. He moved away to find his wand and banish the glass, going back to finishing up the last few dishes. His hands were plunged into the hot water to hide the fact that they were shaking. For which emotion, he couldn't say.

"I'm sorry I can't support you in this."
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Julie Varey
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None of this was going right. At all. Julie hadn't exactly expected the conversation to go over well, but this was maybe a little worse than she'd expected. Him getting angry enough to break the dish he was holding--getting visibly mad, yelling--that she could have expected. Julie knew what to do with anger; she knew how to handle it and how to react to it (ok, she knew she could match it). This...calm thing, though. This she didn't exactly know what to do with.

"You're not accusing me of anything?" She arched an eyebrow. "You asking me if I trust him so much that I'd be willing to trade my memories of you just to remember my life with him isn't accusing me of anything? Because, call me crazy, but that sounds a little bit like an accusation." And she refused to feel guilty about wanting her mind whole and intact.

His remark that she was probably just going to do what she want anyway stung because, even though she was determined to not feel guilty over it, his insistence that something was going to go wrong that he and their children were going to have to live with was giving her pause. Could she really do that? He wasn't wrong in thinking that she was the only one who was going to get final say over it because it was her body and her mind, but his lack of support bothered her more than she cared to admit.

"I don't care what happens to him. Or his friend." If she did do this, and something did go wrong, she could honestly say she had no strong feelings as to whether or not Zander stayed safe because she didn't know him.

"It's just...I’m pretty sure seeing proof that Phas was using magic in Australia is what triggered the initial regaining of my memories. I tried to keep everything straight and let them filter in on their own, and the next thing I knew I was in England, and Australia was forgotten, and my biggest concern was that Kevin married someone else. And the next set came back while I was in labor with Claire--and the first thing I remembered was Eve being in labor with Arram. But I never remembered all of it like the first time. So now that I’ve run into Zander--now that we’ve met?” She ran a hand through her hair, taking a breath. “What if I start remembering more now? What if when the rest of it comes back, I stop remembering my life again?”

For years now, if Julie had to admit to one greatest fear, it would be being alone. It was the fear that death-maze had tried to exploit--the one that had almost killed her husband. And now that she and her family were finally happy, the last thing she wanted to do was wake up with no memories of them, to be back in Elisabeth's head--to forget even herself again.

"Jace, I--I understand if you can't support me." She didn't know if that statement was entirely true. "But I don't just want to do this because I want those memories back. I want to make sure I don't lose these ones by just letting whatever happens to my head keep playing itself out. Because it's not very good at working these things out on its own."
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Jason Varey

"Fine. I know you wouldn't trade your memories of me for him. I wanted to hear you say it, and you danced around the subject with anger instead. That doesn't exactly make me feel better about the situation, love. I came into your life because of Phas; both of the identities. I love this one. You are my world, Julie. It would be nice to hear that you weren't planning on letting Phas wreck it."

Jace finished the dishes way too quickly for his liking; he wanted to keep his hands busy during the conversation, and that wasn't happening anymore. It made him sigh as he sat back down, staring at the grain of the table. They had been doing so goddamned well. There wasn't anyone trying to kill Julie, there wasn't anyone taking over her will, there wasn't anyone trying to kill him, he was managing the family business well away from their beautiful, talented children…and now this. Was it too much to ask to just live the rest of their lives without any complications?

"I won't let that happen." He breathed out, rubbing his face for a moment before turning to look at her again.

"You really, truly think that if your memories start coming back by themselves you'll lose the ones of us? What if it's going to happen regardless and the potion just speeds up the process to the point that we can't counteract it? I refuse to lose you."
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Julie Varey
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"Well, I am angry," Julie replied. "I'm angry that this is even happening, but I'll tell you as many times as you want that none of this means that I'd be willing to give up any of what I had now." She didn't deserve any of this. None of them did. This conversation shouldn't have even been happening. That morning, she should have just gone to work, investigated her case, got home, and enjoyed the evening with her family.

"But Phas has nothing to do with this." Zander's dubious former connections to the group notwithstanding. After all, even Jace had admitted that it had been clear to him that Zander wasn't even really working for them. And he was here, in England, working in the Ministry, clearly with family ties to England's magical community if his last name was anything to go by. And that reminded her--she'd have to ask Llian how closely the two of them were related and what he knew about Zander.

"I'm not letting anyone wreck anything," she told him, shifting to face him as he sat down at the table. "We've worked too hard to get to where we are for me to let that happen."

At his question, she answered, "I'm worried that might be the case. I don't know. That's the problem: I don't know anything about this. What if I do lose my memories again? What if the potion helps? What if it's not a good idea? Jace, I'll never know until I at least look into it." She walked over and joined him at the table, taking a seat and resting her arms on the table, leaning forward. She was tired of standing. She was tired of just about everything in that moment. "I have to know. But whatever I decide to do, you're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere."
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Jason Varey

Jace inclined his head in acceptance that Julie was angry. Truthfully, she had every right to be angry. If he had someone messing with his memories, having lived two completely different identities, and even after thinking he knew it all more things kept popping up? He'd be furious. He'd be uncomfortable in his own mind, wondering just how much of himself he was missing. He got it. He really did.

He just hated all the strings that came with it and all the risks.

"If Phas has nothing to do with then, then who does? Did you ever figure out who did this to you to begin with?" Jace was confused, but Julie was finally not just telling him facts about what had happened and what she wanted to do in result of it and was opening up to him. Regardless of him wanting to protect her from everything and keep her from feeling these kinds of bad emotions, it meant that this wasn't a done deal and they could still work through this together. He could work it out with her…not Zander guiding her.

"Hence the research." Jace sighed again, reaching across the table to take her hand. He took the moment to rise it to his lips, comforting himself with the wedding ring.

"Fine. We'll take it day by day. It might be a good idea to start a pensieve of the important moments, and then we can look into the success rates and risk analysis connected to this potion. I would rather you not meet with them alone, if you have to meet with them." She promised she wasn't going anywhere and he closed his eyes. It had been a while since their last potion-based disorder, but it was still a very fresh reality in his mind.

"I want to know everything before it happens, if at all possible."
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Julie Varey
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"The whole thing started when I was an Auror in France," Julie told him. "I was at the Headquarters--we were doing a lot of research into a group that called themselves Anonymous. They were Death Eater sympathizers but aren't directly affiliated with them. They were branching into England at one time, though. One of England's Aurors--Matthew Berenson, the Deputy Head at the time--was assigned the case and went undercover. It was deep cover, and apparently the only person who knew was the Head Auror, who was arrested in the middle of the mission and given the Dementor's Kiss. Long story short, apparently this guy was ordered to attack the French Headquarters, and...we were completely outnumbered. Honestly, if he wasn't there, I would have been dead. Instead, he made them think he killed me, wiped my memory and sent me away to another country to live as a Muggle so no one would find out."

Even with Matthew's name being cleared, Julie had never been fond of the man. "I guess he got free and came back to England and cleared his name, at some point, which is how they found all of this out. He confessed what he did to keep me alive, even if it was the worst plan he could have thought of. Even without being a wanted criminal anymore, he's dropped off the grid completely. No one knows where to find him." At the time, she hadn't cared, believing that she had her memory back and she'd never need Matthew's assistance for anything. Now, though, that didn't seem to be the case.

She shifted a little closer to him when he took her hand. "I like the pensieve idea," she agreed. "I'll keep you informed, and you can be there when we meet. Zander said he'd have to check with his friend first to make sure the potion's even doable or makes sense for my situation. In the mean time, I'm going to go see Llian and ask what, if anything, he knows about Zander since they've got to be related." Planning relaxed her just a little. She was still really thrown off by the whole situation, but at least by getting a plan together she was doing something to regain control of the situation.
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Jason Varey

Jace nodded his head when Julie mentioned Anonymous, aware of the group. He didn't know a whole lot about them, but he thought that was the way the organization liked it. In a way, that was very similar to his family dynamics. If you don't know anything about a group you perceive as powerful, then fear sets in. It's a very good deterrent - even if the group itself is not all-encompassing.

"So Matthew Berenson is the cause. If we can find him, do you think he would have a more reliable way to help you with your memories?" People hid from Jace all the time…he'd never failed at finding one before. Granted, it might take him some time, but he wasn't trained to be his father's perfect little killer and not be able to find his prey.

Jace also wasn't sure if he wanted to see Zander Silverhawk ever again. In fact, he had to force himself not to tighten his hands into fists around her fingers at the thought - no, the need - that filled him at the idea of seeing the man again. Jace had tried to distance himself from the amount of people he killed for the family, but that wasn't to say that he wouldn't enjoy this one. Immensely.

"You might have loved him." Jace forced out, voice gravelly in his reluctance to bring that up. "I'm not a good enough man to step aside, like you did with Kevin and Llian. I just need you to know that."

But he liked the idea of her talking to Llian about Zander. Jace doubted the other man liked his cousin, if he knew anything about him. A second, slightly less biased, negative opinion of the man would be helpful.

"Yes, definitely do that. If at work doesn't happen, then have him bring all the kids over and they can have a playmate while you two talk it through."
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Julie Varey
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"I have no idea," Julie admitted. "As far as I'm aware, Matthew never had any special training in memory charms--my best guess is his lack of training was what made this so messed up." Julie had no idea what else it could be. It wasn't like he would need to do anything unique to her memory if all he was trying to do was hide her away and let Anonymous think that he was still on their side. "But either way, I don't want Matthew anywhere near this," she added, perhaps a little too vehemently. Secretly on the side of the Aurors or not, Matthew Berenson was the one who'd started this entire thing. And while it had led, eventually, to Jace and her children, it had also led to some of the worst experiences of her life. "I don't care why he did what he did; he's never even performing a minor hex within a hundred feet of me ever again." His shoddy spellwork had already cost her years' worth of memories twice; she didn't need that a third time. That was why she'd been more open to the idea of someone explicitly trained in memory charms and their effects trying to figure it out.

Though the idea that she might have loved Zander Silverhawk at one time was an unpleasant one, her expression relaxed into a smile at Jace's next words. "Whatever we were to each other in the past, that's done now," she said dismissively. "And I love you, so you'd better not step aside." She didn't know if he could possibly know how much that meant to her, after everything.

And wouldn't that just be life's cruel sense of irony; she'd gone through two extremely similar situations, playing the exact opposite role. First she was the one who came back to find her fiance already moved on--and he stayed that way. Then she was the one who watched as the wife came back--and Llian gave her another chance. And now? Now it seemed like the universe wanted to cast her in that third and final role, and she was done playing games. Her choice was already made, memory or not.

"I'll try to catch Llian in the office tomorrow. If he's not there, I'll tell him to stop by this weekend."
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Jason Varey

Hm. That was not what Jace wanted to hear. He wanted to know that this Matthew person had performed a deliberate spell on his wife in order to save her life - intentions were not always everything, but in this case he didn't think the man meant to cause her so many problems - but since Julie was vehemently convinced it was a complete mistake, he knew keeping Silverhawk completely out of the fix was not going to happen. Even if Matthew could remove the block or whatever it was he did to her brain, Julie wouldn't let him near her with a wand. So Jace was just going to have to suck it up and figure out how to deal with this as the situation came.

He still didn't want her taking any potion a friend of Silverhawk's gave her though.

"Okay. We'll skip the 'going back to the cause' step then." Jace's face turned into a rather unpleasant expression when Julie's first inclination at his reminder that she might have loved Zander Silverhawk was to smile, but she was so disdainful of the notion that he settled just moments after. He leaned back into his chair and nodded. Of course her happiness meant everything to him, but he had committed to her for life. She was his. No half-brained, double-crossing child was going to step into the picture after everything they'd built together and steal away the foundation, the frame, without him putting a fight.

"Passare sul mio cadavere..." He muttered, as it was.

Though Jace had learned to express more of his thoughts and hold an actual conversation, there were still some moments where he preferred the non-verbal. Her visiting Llian at work or having him come to their house just warranted another nod and a heavy sigh.

But he cleared his throat regardless, wondering one more thing.

"Other than frustrated, angry, and confused…are you okay?"
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Julie Varey
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Julie just nodded, satisfied with his answer. She didn't really want to talk about Matthew anymore. There was an ever-growing list of names that pissed her off beyond reason to hear about, but Matthew had occupied one of the top spots for a while, and she was pretty sure he'd just jumped up a couple of spots after today.

"Non ti preoccupare. Non vado da nessuna parte," she told him, not knowing if the reassurance would be effected, but she wanted him to know that there really wasn't anything he had to worry about. Sure, maybe there were points in time that she believed that she could control things through sheer force of will alone, but this was one area in which she could be completely certain that she knew the outcome.

She paused at his question, not exactly knowing how to answer it. "I'm not sure. I think so. It's just...a lot to take in. I'll just be glad when we get all of this over with so I don't have to worry about again. Are you okay?" she asked him in turn. "I know that having to work with someone who was so involved in Phas isn't easy. But...thank you for being willing to compromise."
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